CHERYL

During my trip back home to Singapore, I managed to visit two fortune-tellers on two separate occasions. Once, with Jiaying after we visited the temple and decided to try it out just for fun. Twice, with Yizhi just to bring him to the place but I ended up seeing a different fortune teller. You know, just to see if it's accurate.

Since I was young, my dad loved to go for fortune-telling. I remember that I would tag along on some occasions and this is a summary of what I was told by different fortune-tellers (that I still remember):

• I would be a successful property agent if I ever become one. And because I'm so good at talking and convincing, I can even convince people to buy haunted houses! (Lol, I sure wasn't that pleased the first time I heard that because I never thought of becoming a property agent. Plus, why would I be so evil to sell a house to a person knowing that there are ghosts inside?! Eeek.)
• I shouldn't marry young because I would end up in a divorce anyway. It's best that I marry late - maybe after I turn 27/28 years old? 
• I have a strong character and I'd definitely be more of an independent woman next time (this I can absolutely agree!)
• I'd be very successful in my career no matter what job I end up in, and I'd be someone of a high authority so people would be listening to my orders while working. (This came off as a little puzzling because I have never been one to lead or someone who likes having authority over others, especially in a large group. I feel much more comfortable being as a team rather than being a leader. Just less politics, less feelings and less conflicts in work I guess?)

Most of you must have already known by now that I'm admitted and intending to pursue Architecture in university as well as my planned long-term career in the future. And again, you probably know me well enough (if you do) to know that architecture has never been something I wanted to do or even thought of doing. So why did I decide to take it? You may wonder.

You might believe that there's a strong and good reason behind that reason, but the truth is, I don't know myself. I've always been interested in medicine and surgery and I've liked it so much that no other courses have ever crossed my mind. All my life I grew up thinking that I'd get what I wanted, as long as I was capable enough and worked hard for it.

But growing up, I began to realise that you don't get everything you want in life. You just don't. People may tell you that nothing will stop you from chasing after your dreams as long as you're determined enough to work for it, or tell you that you shouldn't not chase after your dreams, but they don't tell you that it doesn't work for everyone. Is life ever fair? I guess not.

It's easy for someone else to say "just do something you love" or "just choose any course to study" because at the end of the day, what they are offering is just an advice, not a decision. Ultimately the choice is still yours - whether or not you heed their advice, it's still up to you.

I was enrolled in Bachelor of Biomedical Sciences in UTAS and was offered a spot after my FSP year but I rejected and changed it to Environmental Design, otherwise known as Architecture. Why did I pick this course then? Also, why did I even pick Biomed in the first place if I didn't want it?

When I first enrolled myself into Foundation Studies, my goal in mind was to work really hard, get a full GPA score, sit for an iSAT test to get into medicine, pass it and enter med school. At that time I wasn't allowed to study medicine because my mum strongly opposed to it (due to financial circumstances) so I picked Biomed because I knew I could still change it at the end of my FSP year. So when I started FSP, I picked subjects that I knew were eligible for medicine. I took Chemistry and Math.

I knew it was a selfish desire to aim for medicine because I knew my mum would never approve of it, but as much as I knew how impossible it was, I can't deny that I really, really do have the passion for it. Every single time I passed by the medical building in the city, a part of me would die inside because I knew that it would always remain a dream. Every time there was a new drama about doctors and surgery, I'd instantly jump up and the next thing I know, I'd be downloading every episode and watch them. I love watching medical based dramas so much because I've always aspired to be a doctor and a surgeon.

June came last year and it was actually the time to study and sit for the iSAT test that I was intending to take, but by then I had already told myself that I wasn't going to take it anymore and that medicine should never be my end goal any longer. So I gave it a miss.

Soon, it was the end of the year. Results for the test came out and most of my friends who took it didn't make it through. Only one did. I started regretting not taking the test, and I contemplated if I should take the next one over the course of a few days.
But eventually I didn't because the test was only available in Melbourne and Singapore, and at that time I was still studying in FSP and didn't have any breaks or whatsoever to fly anywhere. Nor did I have the extra time to study for the test because it was a hectic period for us and we had lots of assignments before the upcoming final examinations. I pondered long and hard, and eventually didn't because the test itself would require quite a lot of money and I thought: even if I passed, would it be able to change anything? No.

I eventually did managed to do as well as I wanted, and got the full GPA score I aimed for, but it all came to a naught.

Then it was time to make a final decision for my university course. I wanted to get out of Biomed because I knew I wouldn't enjoy being stuck in a lab my entire life or even doing anymore lab work in the next few years because if you've ever studied with me (especially science subjects) you would know how much I HATE lab work. I dreaded lab lessons so much when I took Chemistry in FSP that it was really a pain in an ass even when I thought about it. Worst still, UTAS even changed Biomedical Sciences to Laboratory science, making it even more lab-based (and more gross) so the idea of taking Biomed was totally out.

Other than medicine as my dream and running my own business as a second dream, I had another passion for writing. I mean I still do, don't get me wrong. I do love writing, and I do love blogging and taking pictures. So for awhile I did consider taking Journalism and something media-based because I could see myself being an editor, a travel writer or a blogger in the future. At least it was something else I enjoyed doing, even though I've always seen it as a form of leisure rather than a career. And I did consider and thought about it long enough that I had my mind settled on Bachelor of Arts -- and then I did my research and consulted various university course lecturers to know more about the course.

I thought about:

• Bachelor of Arts (either 1 major and 1 minor / 2 majors) - I thought of taking 2 majors: one in journalism and one in either tourism or social sciences. 
• Bachelor of Social Sciences (2 majors and 1 minor) - I thought of taking my majors in Social Science and Journalism and minor in Psychology or tourism.
• Bachelor of Arts & Science (combined degree) - This felt like the safest option since I didn't know what to take. I mean I've always been a Science person because I love science but arts has always been in my favour, if you get what I mean. Like I prefer studying science but I do better in arts, if I put in the same amount of effort that is. And also, it is a very general course and thus it felt like the safest bet because I could venture into a lot of different careers after I graduate and not worry about not the eligibility and requirements of my future career.
• Bachelor of Science - I thought about this only because I didn't know what other specific course to take in the science field.
• Bachelor of Environmental Sciences, Architecture - Truth is, I've never thought about this until my friend suggested and I thought "maybe I would like it". It has never crossed my mind because it's such a unique course (I'd say) since it doesn't belong to specifically Arts or Science. And because I never took it, I thought "Hey why not, I might like it!"

 "Let go of the belief that you have everything figured out right now. That you have to know exactly who you want to be, exactly what you want to do, exactly who you want to have a life with. Be okay with the fact that you're going to go through life feeling blind and unsteady and never fully sure of what you're doing, because that's how it's supposed to be."

I really needed to hear this.

It's okay to be unsure. It's okay to be stuck and lost sometimes. As always, I should believe that life will always have a way for me.

Because I know it does.

Writing this not because I think I'll stick to them and accomplish anything, but just to write down some of the things I wish to do.

Just yesterday I reposted this article from TC on my dayre, and it's titled "17 things to let go of in 2017". I earnestly hope everyone would use their free time to read it - it will only take at most ten minutes. You can find this post here or on TC!

Before I start writing, I just want to wish the person who's reading this now a blessed year ahead! May 2017 be a better year for all of us and a year worth living for.

"May 2017 bring you,

unbridled joy,

rampant happiness,

unrestrained laughter,

the courage to make bodacious choices,

and to take undaunted steps forward,

may you have courageous thoughts

unwavering faith 

and a steadfast love in all that you are and all that you're becoming."

In a few more days I'll be bidding you goodbye for the first and last time. And just like that, another year has passed.


Dear 2016, you've been a year of change and in many ways, you have taught me a lot of things. You've seen me cry the most and you've seen me struggle with the obstacles you've given me.

Sarah, Poh, Nicole, Steph, me, Hazel, Pris

In January, we spent the last full month in Singapore together and I was just enjoying myself during the holidays before school started. On the first day of the year, I had dinner with 6 (mostly vegan) friends I've met few years back on social media (who are all vegan now btw!) at Real Food and I had one of the best times before I left home. Meeting all of them has been something I've always felt thankful for, and I'm so grateful that I made real friendships with them. And when I say real friendships, I mean friends I would want to meet whenever I fly back home, just to catch up on each other's lives over good vegan food. Being in a circle of friends who have the same mindset/beliefs as you always feels comfortable.


Oh and, on that day I tried Pong's gelato for the first time ever and it was the first time I screamed "THIS IS SO DARN GOOD" right after trying. And because of that, I've also bought two huge take-home tubs of mango and coconut ice-cream just for my grandparents and my mum to try. They loved it, especially my grandpa.

Met the three of them again for the third time in Jan! We had nomVnom.

The day we went to Whole Earth for lunch and Yes Natural afterwards!

Veganburg and BOOST juice with the legendary XYZ (whom I've been friends with for 8 years and counting)

The day I met Megan, Ling and Joylene for the first time! Such lovely girls :)

We also found time for experiments in the kitchen and that was when I started baking consistently. I would bake and create my own recipes, then give them away to my friends or whoever I'm going to meet the next day. Thank you for letting me discover a new passion.

The first time I made bread!

Peanut butter chocolate swirl brownies.

Potato croquettes! Oil-free.

Quinoa brittle.

Like I said, it was truly the time of meetups and I was honestly so thankful for those who asked me out just to have a catch-up and a final meetup before I left. It was then that I realised how lucky I was to have such a genuine friends.

With my fave JAC!!

PIGUUUUUUUU <3