Just recently at the beginning of this month, I turned 19.

As I grow older each year, I always ask myself this same question: What have I achieved in my past 17, 18 or 19 years? How have I fulfilled my life’s purpose, and most importantly, what kind of person have I grown up to become?

My answers have always been either “nothing” or “I don’t know” but I don’t think it’s the same anymore. I guess it’s just part of growing up and maturing, and getting into a phase when you start asking yourself grown-up things like, “What have I achieved?” “What have I contributed to the society?” “What kind of person am I?”. I guess it just happens when you dwell into self-reflections and question the purpose of life and your own existence.

Afterall, we were born for a reason.

I used to deem my life as worthless and something that I wouldn’t want or cherish at all, because I saw absolutely no reason for my own existence. I wondered what was the purpose of my life for YEARS and always concluded with “I guess it’s just meaningless.”.
Perhaps to some of you life may still seem meaningless, “not fun at all” and perhaps you haven’t actually found your own purpose, but that’s okay. I don’t think anyone has any definite or concrete answer to what the purpose of life is but I guess we just have to live and find them on our own. It might take years for some and perhaps even their entire lifetime.

If you were to ask me what’s my purpose of life, I wouldn’t really know how to answer you either. How do I say it, or how do I actually put it across? I do not have a definite answer to it as well but I know very well that whatever it is, no matter what (how old I am, where I am or what I’m doing with my life), my ultimate goal in life is to: Give back to the community.

I know it may sound stupid or “lame” to some people but I genuinely believe in giving back to the community and the world for what I’ve received. I know some (or most) people live for the sake of themselves - for example, wanting to do this and that, wanting to be successful and rich at the end of the day, just so they could live in luxury for their rest of their lives, and enjoy their lives to the fullest. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to want to be successful and rich one day or is it wrong to want to enjoy your life (I mean, who wouldn’t want to?). However, if your goal is just to do this and that for YOURSELF, get rich for YOURSELF, enjoy your life yourself and have absolutely no intentions to contribute back to society in any way, then I’m sorry but I think you’re selfish. Not because of the dreams and goals you have but because you have the mindset that the world owes you a living.

The world does not owe us anything. When we are born into this world, we use up the resources we find. Like wood from trees, water from the sea, for example. We use what we find, what we can make from them and take whatever life (or the world) offers us. When we’re born, we accept the country we live in, we accept the parents and family we have, we accept whatever our parents give us and we accept every opportunity offered or thrown to us wherever possible, in our different stages of life. So to me, whether I end up being rich or poor in the future, I’d still want to contribute back to the society, even if its the smallest of things. Like helping people in need, funding education for students and treatments for the sick when they cannot afford them on their own. Sure, you could think that it’s not possible without getting rich first before you can help them with funding but even if you can’t afford to give because it’s beyond your own limits, even the little things count. Given a scenario where I really want to build a school and offer education to the children from third world countries but can’t afford to because I simply don’t have any financial capability to, the next thing I’d turn to is to offer free classes to them myself. Because why not? At the end of the day, my purpose is not to give them a cool-looking or posh school they can proudly boast off to or love hanging out at but it is purely to give them the education that I think they deserve, and the privilege they never had.

Anyway I digress.

My main purpose in writing this post is not to preach or rant but somehow I digressed (like I always do) and just wanted to give my two cents worth on my own perspective on this topic. It’s perfectly okay if you don’t agree with me because you don’t have to, but it’s simply just what I strongly believe in. (And I guess this is also one of the main reasons why I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, not because of how much I get to earn at the end of the day but it’s because I can contribute back to the community by helping people in need. To me, almost all doctors (those with clear and pure intentions of helping people) are heroes to me — A doctor once helped my dad so much that I grew up wanting to be like him. Being able to help patients and provide relief and reassurance to their family, like what he once did for us.


As a kid I remember blowing the candle on my birthday cake and praying so fervently that oh, I hope to get this and that for my birthday. Or I pray that something nice would happen to me. As I grow up, these superficial and mostly materialistic wishes start to diminish and now all I want is this.

On my 19th birthday, my wishes may be long but they are simple:

Safety and good health to everyone around me

Strength to those who are struggling

Relief to those who are suffering in pain

Hope to those who are in despair

For everyone to be the change they wish to see in the world.

And most importantly, unbridled joy and happiness to all.


Anyway, I had a simple celebration on my 19th birthday with just my boyfriend by having a simple date out. I had a history exam that very morning so I spent most of my morning studying for it, and then I went out for lunch with him. We had burritos and nachos, had a good coffee, walked around the city hand in hand, talked, chilled, did grocery shopping together, went home to cook and had dinner. That was it but — Just that alone, was good enough.

Also received some gifts from my bestest friends here: a handwritten card that meant so much to me, a scented diffuser for my room, a non-fiction book of my favourite genre, a notebook I’ve been raving on and wanting to get some time ago, a bottle of water just before my history exam because I was really thirsty, a parcel mailed to me (which contained many amazing vegan goodies!).

Am so thankful for the fact that I’ve a small but close circle of friends I know who are true to others and themselves, and take notes of whatever I say and my likes/dislikes even though I’ve met them for barely even half a year, yet. Thank you for such thoughtful gifts, I appreciate all of you so much.

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