i think of you in colours that don't exist


hey guys, it has been a while!

was initially telling myself to blog only when o's are over, but since i've survived the hell week (so glad it's over), i guess i need to relax for a while.

needless to say, o's are taking a toll on me, and there have been so many instances when i really wanted to give up halfway because there were just too many things to cram into my head at the last minute. but of course i never gave up  didn't give up because of my friends who encouraged me to "hang on", "persevere", and that "it would be over soon".

wanted to blog about a new topic but i guess this isn't the right time since i've totally lost my chain of thoughts over the past few days, while restricting the urge of my itchy fingers to reach out for my silver macbook which was always right on my desk.

i would like to say that o's went pass in a breeze, but it has been 15 days since o's started and there's still ten days left. :( I have 3 more remaining papers (and i hope they'd be easy of course.)

there have been nothing much going on in my life now because o's are taking 98% of my life right now, with that remaining 2% consisting of sleeping, eating and using my phone. Even though exam preparations have taken away most of my freedom, my stress-free life, my SLEEP, and my precious time always spent lying around the house, i guess the only good thing is that, I've stopped caring about petty and useless things that are going around in my social media life online, and have entirely stopped being pessimistic about life and whining on useless things (even though i'm always constantly thinking about the worst for my results). Having said that, I've realised that i used to spend a lot of time being sad and whining about how life sucks and y'know what i'm trying to say - my sad posts are all over my blog anyway.

I remembered how i never felt contented and happy and constantly feeling down just because "i feel that way" or because "i feel so tired of living". My blog posts were consecutively sad posts, and nothing positive ever surfaced from my posts. (I even had random strangers online telling me to cheer up and life isn't all that bad after reading my blog.) (And if you're one of those who are reading this right now, thank you.)

I guess, there are still sad days and days when i feel like I've hit rock bottom all over again, but I'm probably going to care less about those pessimistic feelings and involve myself in doing things that distract me from those feelings.

(Although now, i hate to admit that i find blogs that have sad and depressing posts all over sickening  disturbing.) But don't get me wrong, i'm only referring to people who blog/tweet about sad things just to seek attention from their readers - that's sickening.

So there goes the only one good thing that the life of an o'level student has given me.

On the side note, today's the last day of october, and it's only less than two hours away from november. Countdown: 15 days since o's started // 10 days till the end // 15 days till grad lunch // 16 days till osaka // and finally, 53 more days to sydney.

I wish you guys a fun and relaxing november ahead!

Till then o levels end!


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