Day 230: The three things that made my day #346daysofgratitude


A familiar face. A choke of regrets. A thousand words left unsaid. Two people who stopped talking.

A friendship left hanging, a little broken and wounded. Two people who used to laugh at the same things and sang the same songs. He was someone. A close friend.

But we became distant. We turned to strangers.


It's sad when someone you were once close to becomes the person you want to avoid the most. When you have hurt someone, the less you would want to go near them lest they feel more pain in your presence.

Our eyes meet. But the gazes are swift. "Wait. There's something I want to say."
But those words are always left unspoken.

We still hear each other's voices in the hallway. We listen to their conversations with others because we miss talking to them.

If only the words we've been dying to tell each other could outdo the silence between us each time we are close. If only those were enough to fill the empty voids in our hearts.


Today, I had the chance to talk to a friend I thought I had lost awhile ago. I was waiting for the lift and I was a little taken aback when I was greeted by a swarm of people rushing out of the lift. That person was holding the door.
Everyone left and our eyes met for a few seconds.
Instead of shifting gazes like we usually do, we just stood there in silence and we smiled.

I choked on my tears but it was out of joy. It was of gratitude and happiness.

Only a few people who really know me would understand how much I genuinely treasure my family and friendships with my closest friends. To me, my closest friends are like family to me. It doesn't matter how much I give. It doesn't matter how much lesser I receive. It's about unconditionality. 

We talked a little after that.

So today, this was the first thing that made me happy. Even though things still feel more or less the same, at least, at the very least, it was something. It meant a thing.

After everything, I still hope that I wouldn't lose a friend like him. I hope we'd still remain friends even if we can never ever go back to what we once were.

/ Listen: If there's something you have been wanting to do for a long time and still haven't done it, I hope you have the courage to do so tomorrow. If something is broken, mend it. If there needs to be a closure, go ahead and do it even if it's going to kill you.

"The unresolved past will always find you again, whether it's love or hatred." /


Here's the second thing that made me happy today: I found out that Reyne's a vegan!!!!

So Reyne has been my Chemistry tutor for Monday classes and I used to not like him because I always found his lessons dry and boring. But now my impression of him has totally changed.

It's not a shift of perspective just because I found someone alike or similar in any sense. That aside, I guess the only thing that came to me was more like: "HE UNDERSTANDS."
Growing up in this society, I can only say that all of us are so disconnected from actuality. That we are all so disconnected from the real world and we choose to be oblivious to the things that are happening around us, just because. Just because we don't refuse to care. Because we know the truth is probably going to be too much to bear. (TO BE CONTINUED in another post)

Gonna save that topic for another day so back to my point: Basically I was doing a worksheet given in class when I overheard him telling some of my classmates "I don't eat meat" and everyone who sat in the first row went like "Huh, why?!" and he said "Well I've been vegan for four months now and.." before explaining why he has gone vegan. At that instance I immediately lifted my head off the table just to listen his explanation ahaha. I didn't manage to hear much since I was sitting about two rows behind, but what I managed to grasp was that he is doing it for ethical reasons, and he was talking about how we're all accustomed/used to eating meat just because of our cultures etc. Well that's a fact.
So one of my classmates was curious and asked "But what about protein?" and replied "well, you can always get it from other sources like legumes, beans...protein isn't so much of a concern, B12 vitamin is more important." 

When I heard that I just wanted to give him a big HIGH-FIVE in the air ahaha.
You know what makes me happy? Knowing that people actually give a damn about animals. That they actually CONSIDER their lives. That their lives matter much more to them than the damn steak or ribs on their plates. 
When I realise this, I find that the world we're living in suddenly becomes not so much of a bad place after all. Finally a faith in humanity.

"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness."


Now finally, the third thing that made my day today! 

Mum texted me and told me that some of her colleagues read my blog whenever they are free and she said, "They love reading your blog." I was still walking home after my last lesson ended and that brought a smile to my face. 

I've been wanting to say this for a long time, but to the hundreds of viewers or people who read my every-day posts, to the people who actually bothers reading about my boring life, thank you so much for reading. I've also received anonymous comments telling me how much they enjoy reading my blog. You guys have no idea how much this means to me :')

I hate to admit it but I actually really suck at blogging ahaha, most of the things I write here are just bits and pieces of my thought-processes and it's really....dry. And being a bad/not-so-good writer, of course I do find myself inadequate and inferior especially when I read other blogs. Like HOW DO YOU GUYS WRITE SO WELL. TEACH ME YOUR WAYS ahaha. 

As far as I know I definitely need to do more reading (because I don't even read books AT ALL) and work on my language! Yes cheryl you can do this.

But most importantly, thank you if you're reading this now. Genuinely. 

/ And to whoever reading this now, I hope that you've also found the three things that made you happy today like I did. 

Love you all.

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