Read this if you think you have the shittiest life in the entire world. Because I agree with you.


I have a shitty life.
 I have the worst life. 
I hate life.
 Why am I living?
 I'm so tired of this.
There's no meaning to life.
Life is nothing but suffering.
I'm so sick of living.
Nothing is ever going to be better.
Nobody loves me.
I don't deserve to live.
I hate everyone.
I hate society.
I'm so sick of life.
I'm so sick of myself.
Nobody understands me.
Nobody feels my pain.
I'm alone.
Nobody cares. 
It hurts.
Nobody's ever there for me.
Can someone save me..?


Have you ever said the same thing or thought the same way? Have you ever felt like there's no meaning to life? Have you ever felt so bloody sick of everything? 

You have always wanted to give up, didn't you? It's always easier to give up anyway.

Isn't life just so sickening?

Yes it is. And if you do agree with me, I'm telling you right now that this is not going to be a post of no-life and meaningless agreements about how shitty life is. This is not going to be a post about depression, or about any painful past, or my story. This is not going to be a post full of encouragements and motivation quotes, either. I'm not going to make you feel less sorry or less miserable than what you are right now, and I'm not going to purposely cheer you up.

Because instead, I want you to realise it all by yourself.

I want you to wake up from the hellhole you've decided to put yourself in.

I want you to stand up for yourself, from where you are, and leave.

Believe me, when I say that nobody's going to help you unless you help yourself. And yes, even if there's someone there to help you, you would never ever get out of it completely until you decide to let go. 

You're always thinking of letting go and giving up. You think it's the easiest way out. Yet, you're the one who is (still) hopelessly clinging onto everything without even realising it. Lol, the irony.

Feeling irritated, annoyed, angry, and pissed off as fuck? I hope you are though.

"I have a shitty life." Yes of course you do. You have a shitty life because you CHOSE that. Right now you must be so mad thinking "Why the hell would I choose a shitty life for myself?" and "This person right here is so flipping ridiculous I feel like slapping her for goodness sake". Go ahead and flare up as much and as long as you want, because YOU chose that.

"I have the worst life." Yes of course you do. You have the worst life only because YOU think you do. You think you have the worst life because God is unfair right? If not, could it be karma? Or because you think you're ill-fated, and an epitome of tragedy at that? 
Well, you can always say that you have it the worst. But I can always say that I have it the worst. She could have also said that. He could have also said that. You believe that you have the worst in life because you think that nothing can ever be worse than your life. (Are you even legit?)

"I hate life." Yes of course you do. Because I do, and we all do too. We all hate life sometimes. (Now you may take on by saying that you don't just hate life sometimes, you hate life every millisecond and with every inch of your soul). Well yeah, you hate life but life hates you more than you do.

"I'm so tired of this." Yes of course you are. You're tired. I'm tired. We are all tired. We get tired of things when we're drained out of energy. We get tired all the time. 

"There's no meaning of life." Yes of course there isn't. There isn't any meaning to life because you've wasted every single second of it thinking that there isn't any. You try to find the meaning of everything but there still seems to be none. There's just, absolutely no meaning. "Why am I doing this? There's no purpose at all."

"Life is nothing but suffering." Yes of course it is. It is nothing but suffering because again, you chose it. You chose it to be nothing but suffering.

"I'm so sick of living." Yes of course you are. Life's even sicker of you.




Right now you may be mad. You may feel wronged. You may feel accused. You may feel as angry as you can ever be. You may be asking me to STFU in your head. 

However angry you are, however accused you feel, please just continue reading.

Just so you know, I'm genuinely happy for you. I'm happy not because you're miserable, depressed or broken. I'm happy not because I think you're a loser. I'm not happy because I'm feeling a sense of schadenfreude. I'm happy, because you're angry.

I'm happy that you're angry because you still feel. You still care.

At least you aren't allowing yourself to wallow in self-pity and accepting the fact that life's a tragedy. At least you know (or maybe, slightly believe) that you don't deserve this much of misery. At least you haven't given up on yourself, at least not completely.

Don't you think that you've spent enough time envying others and wishing you were somebody else? Don't you think that you've wasted more than enough time seeing your life falling apart, again and again?

Do you really think life is nothing worth more than believing that it's really nothing?

What you don't realise is that, you chose this for yourself. When people get stuck in difficult situations, they believe that most of the time, it's not up to them. When people are driven up the wall, they blame the wall for it (not literally, but you get my drift). It's just intrinsically easier for us to blame our faults on everything apart from ourselves. And even if we do, would there be any difference?

What's the difference between blaming our wretched lives and ourselves for it? 

I see people around me saying how much life sucks every single day. I see people on the Internet complaining about how unhappy they have been every day. They are always so miserable. 

And then I start to wonder: Why is everyone so unhappy?

If that was really the case, then why would happiness even exist? How is it even possible that optimism can exist, and how do some people look on the bright side of life instead of the other? Why can there be people who cherish life and people who don't? If happiness is not a choice, then what is?

If there's one greatest lesson I've learnt this life, it would be realising that happiness itself is a choice, and it's entirely one's accord to choose to believe it, or not.

You may finish reading this post not believing whatever I've said. You may choose to disagree. But that's completely fine with me because I don't see a need why you have to either. Whether or not one chooses to listen and believe, or to ignore and deny - it's entirely up to what she/he thinks and chooses to believe. Just like how God will never be the same in everyone's eyes, I don't need you to acquiesce.

You may ask: Why is happiness a choice? I didn't choose to be unhappy. Even if I chose happiness, it didn't come to me.

If you say that you chose happiness, are you sure you did? By choosing happiness, it means to look beyond your flaws, imperfections, shortcomings, and embracing them. 

By choosing to embrace your lack ofs, you can be more than enough.

Sometimes I see people struggling mentally and I feel two things: One, familiarity. Two, empathy. I feel familiarity because they remind me of who I used to be, or who I become when I choose to flounder in sorrow. The latter because, I know too well how it feels like.

Sometimes I see people struggling mentally and I tell them that things would get better one day. I don't know how much truth weighs in that sentence since they might or might not realise what happiness is based on, but I do believe that things do get better at the end. If it doesn't get better, it's not the end.

Sometimes I tell them that things do get better at the end because it did for me. Sometimes they ask me how I did it. I have never really given an exact answer because I never really knew how to explain, but if I were to put it into just two words it would be - by Embracing happiness.

Happiness does not come to you just by embracing it. By choosing happiness, you do so when you change your perceptions.

How you choose to percept your life, How you choose to see it, and what you choose to do with it.

Sometimes I see people running after sadness and depression, and I feel so angry. I get angry because one - it reminds me of who I was last time. Two, it annoys me to see others doing so when they don't realise that happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

Now, all I can ask for is to ask you to reflect and ponder over the sentence in red above: "How you choose to percept your life, how you choose to see it, and what you choose to do with it." Ask yourself these questions and answer them truthfully. 

And if you want to change, then ask yourself: How am I going to change my perceptions?

I will return with my answers in the next few posts. And when I do, I hope you'd have already found yours. 

[2:08AM] With love, Cheryl.

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