Day 203: Falling sick & feeling lost #346daysofgratitude


Apologies for the lack of updates, there have been a few things going on lately but I just haven't got the time to properly sit down and blog about it. And since I have some time to spare now while resting I just thought maybe I should update this space a little!

SO like, I've been feeling blue lately. Both physically and emotionally, I guess. Well technically life has been hectic ever since the new semester started and I just feel like there's just so much to deal with. Last night I spent some time trying to organise things my life and came into a final realisation that...YUP, I really have a lot to do. And my health isn't exactly helping much either, since I've been falling ill on-and-off and it doesn't ever actually go away because I haven't been taking care of myself either. So I started having sore throat about two weeks ago and just left my throat to rest, afterwards it got better, then I started feeling feverish a week later and last weekend I was probably running a high fever. "Probably" because my thermometer died on me but it felt like death inside so it was probably really bad. Adding on to that I had really painful period cramps just when the fever started, and my nose was blocked and the sore throat returned. It was totally NOT ok especially when I had other work to do besides taking care of my health.
Today I finally visited the doctor and was told that I was running a fever (still am) and I was totally oblivious about it since I feel so much less feverish than what I felt last weekend. He also told me that it was probably an infection/virus so all I'd have to do is to sleep more, stay warm and drink lots of water! But honestly I haven't been sleeping a lot so I think I need to rest more so that I can quickly recover from this bout. I was instructed to get some ibuprofen from the chemist after the consultation but considering how far it is from my place, maybe NAH.

But I've been blowing out mucus with blood traces in it, EEEEKS. TMI sorry ahaha.

Being sick alone here really makes me miss having a mum to fuss over me 24/7, her checking on me all the time, waking calls with medicine and warm water, someone keeping me warm and random cold towels placed on my forehead to relieve my fever. Ah, those were the days of feeling extra loved. I miss having those. :(

But health issues aside for now, work has been piling up too so I guess I've to really start optimising my time well. I can feel myself lacking behind my studies (especially after missing lessons) and that is definitely a bad sign, so I have to really buck up. I've also been stressing about which degree to undertake in my first Uni year next year and I really have to decide ASAP, but up till now I really do not know what I want, STILL. Everything seems so daunting and somehow I don't feel excited about growing up and for the years that have yet to come.

There's just so many more things I want to do amidst all of this. Like finding some spare time to edit/upload my vlogs, update this space more often, do more writing, going out to unwind myself, getting all this stress out of me, read more and rest more. I really do want to start reading and writing again, at least it gives me a space to vent and pour my feelings into. Maybe I will, soon. I hope.

And maybe, and hopefully, things will get better from here.

I will survive this.

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